Sunday, December 2, 2012

Eden's Memorial

Saturday we opened up our home to friends and family that were able to come and celebrate Eden's life with us. My dad made a really beautiful picture video that we played all day long on the television, and people filled our living room and kitchen. We told people anytime after 10, and most of everyone who came arrived just after 10 - at one point we had over 30 people in the house at once!

 It was a very busy day. Everyone who came stayed and visited a while, and we received lots of hugs, food, and cards. It was so nice to be surrounded by people who love us. We don't have to worry about cooking for at least a couple weeks, and someone even brought us some groceries, so we shouldn't have to worry about shopping either.
Our family friend, Sherry, made some beautiful birth announcements for us, and we handed them out to everyone who came, along with the Tiny Rosebud poem that was modified for our Angel Shower. We also released balloons with a card on them that gave Eden's information and the blog address, and we had people write a message to little Eden before releasing their balloon. I hope that somebody finds one of those balloons and visits the blog. If someone is meant to find the blog, God will lead them to it one way or another. We plan on releasing balloons every year for Eden's birthday, and we will include the same card each year.

We had a balloon for Brooklyn to hold and keep while we released our balloons. It didn't have enough helium to float inside the house, so we thought it would be safe to bring it outside. She let go of it, and it got caught a couple times in a low tree. We were able to retrieve it easily though, and we gave it back to her. The last time she let go of it, the balloon floated straight up, and somehow got high enough to float away in the wind. It followed the same path as all the other balloons had, and it cleared all the trees and kept going until we couldn't see it anymore. Brooklyn was a little sad, but then she said goodbye to the balloon... I thought it was really special that somehow her little balloon still flew away with the others - Eden really wanted her big sister's balloon.

After everybody went home, my mom and aunts helped get my house back in order, and put away food, and everything else they could think of. It was such a big help to me, and though I don't like to admit it, I probably overdid it a bit yesterday by going back and forth outside and up and down my porch stairs. Once my pain medicine wore off, I was pretty sore, and my incision was slightly "weepy" (but don't worry, it's still normal and not infected). Today I took it a little easier. I have been sitting most of the day, but still moving around, because if I sit too long it hurts more to stand up.

I've been pumping for a few days now as my milk comes in, and I'll continue to pump for as long as I can so I can donate. Right now I'm averaging about 15 ounces of milk a day, which is actually awesome for me, because I was never able to pump with Brooklyn. I praise God that I'm getting milk fairly easily and not having issues yet as I pump. My short-term goal is to reach 20 ounces in a day, but ultimately, I'd like to double that. Brooklyn is also still nursing, so that will also have an effect on my output. It will help increase my supply, but obviously she'll be drinking part of it as well. I will update as I build my supply up.

Today was Eden's real due date, yet oddly it doesn't make me any sadder than any other day has so far. I suppose her birthday and the day after each year are going to be the hardest, but I don't think her due date will be too bad. I am doing surprisingly "well" right now. The crying comes in moments, but I'm having more not crying moments than crying moments. It might be because there's been people here keeping me from getting lonely, and tons of love and support from everyone around me, it might be because I have hundreds of people around the world praying for me to have peace, or it might be a combination of both. I have a feeling once things "settle down" and James has to go back to work, it'll get tougher, and I'll have more crying moments though.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we learn to find our new normal in life. Here are a few pictures from yesterday.

Brooklyn and her uncle watching her determined balloon fly away.


One of Eden's Balloons with the card attached.


  1. It's great that you're going to be pumping to donate, what a GIFT! Healing thoughts to you and your family!

  2. I am in awe of your strengh in the face of your unfathomable loss. What a touching tribute to Eden to release those balloons and I hope that they reach many new blog visitors as they touch down. Praying daily for you and your family.

  3. I'm still thinking and praying for you. Hugs!