That same night, I decided to randomly take a pregnancy test. I'm weird, and I like to randomly take pregnancy tests...I didn't expect to see anything on it, because my body hasn't had normal, pregnancy-sustaining cycles lately due to my breastfeeding Brooklyn and pumping milk to donate. I was very surprised when I saw the faintest of lines on the test. It was so faint nobody else could even see it, but I just knew. The next day I took another test, and sure enough, there was another faint, but definitely visible line! Excited didn't even cover it. I proceeded to take a different type of test, and the line was even more obvious on that test! Then I couldn't stand it, and I took a digital test that somebody brought me - it confirmed it with an indisputable "line". It said I was pregnant. I am "due" in May.
I am so very excited to be pregnant again, but definitely not without worry and mixed feelings. We miss Eden desperately, and nobody could ever replace her. We aren't trying to replace Eden, but I know that my heart is finally ready to open up to another child again. I am on eggshells, of course. I've had a miscarriage in the past, so of course I'm nervous about that, especially until the gestational day I miscarried passes, but I'm even more nervous about losing another child to anencephaly or a different birth defect. With my MTHFR gene mutations, there are so many things that can go wrong, but I have to trust that God will make things go right. I wish I could say I have total faith this baby will be healthy, but I think until I see that whole, round head on the ultrasound I will be afraid of the worst.
It is bitter sweet being pregnant. I don't think it's really hit me yet to the full extent though. I've already had a couple rounds of morning sickness, but other than that I don't really feel pregnant. I don't think it'll really sink in until I have my first doctor's appointment. I'm not sure when that will be yet, but probably not for a month or so since I'm still so early. I have already been to the chiropractor once though, and I will be seeing my chiropractor as often as I see my OB to help ensure a normal delivery.
|My latest milk donation of 900 ounces.|
This totals 5225 ounces of breastmilk donated so far.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, for peace and for a healthy baby. Little Eden Marie is going to be a big sister...