Eden was always a gift to us, and to the world. She was a complete blessing, and even though I wish she could have stayed on this earth with us longer, I wouldn't trade a single second of her life for the world. Eden made her impact on the world with the little time she had. She has certainly changed me and the person I am. Because of her, I've been gifted with the knowledge of my gene mutation. Because of her, I've met a few amazing mamas who've shared my journey. Because of her, I was able to donate 6383 ounces of breastmilk to other babies, and even wet nurse for a baby a few times. Because of her, countless lives have been touched, and I like to think that lives may have even been saved because of her story.
Sometime earlier in the year, before I was pregnant, I had a dream. I believe it was a gift of Eden, to help bring me a bit of peace. Obviously losing another baby is a fear I have, and will probably always have, but in this dream, I saw Brooklyn, just a year or so older, playing with a little baby. It was a healthy, beautiful, light-haired, little girl, and her name was Rosalie. Eden wasn't there, but I could feel her presence, perhaps watching after the two girls playing. Somehow I just knew that little baby was Brooklyn's and Eden's little sister. The dream felt more real to me than any other dream I've ever had, and I truly believe it was a glimpse into what was to come. When I found out I was pregnant in September, I had a gut feeling it was a girl, and I never was quite as afraid of her having anencephaly as I thought I would have been once pregnant.
|The most beautiful round head I've ever seen.|
I also got to see that this beautiful, healthy little baby is indeed a girl. She is my precious little Rosalie Ann, the child from my dreams that Eden allowed me to see, named after one of my grandmothers. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to know that this baby is healthy, and I can't wait to meet her in May. I am so much more at peace with the pregnancy knowing Rosalie is healthy, and I have been able to really enjoy being pregnant this time around. This pregnancy is a lot different physically than my previous two pregnancies. I think part of it is not eating wheat anymore, part of it is weighing less than I did with both girls, and part of it is regular chiropractor appointments. With both Brooklyn and Eden, I had horrible morning sickness all throughout the entire pregnancy, which made it so hard to really enjoy being pregnant. This time around, I had pretty severe morning sickness for about 6 weeks, and it just went away. I only get nauseous when I get overheated, or when I accidentally eat something with gluten in it (I know almost right away too, because it only takes minutes for the nausea to set in, and then it lasts a few days!) I can say that I actually enjoying being pregnant right now, which isn't something I normally say when I'm pregnant!
Now it's time that I head to bed, since it's very late and I'll probably be up in just a couple hours unable to sleep through my excitement of Brooklyn's Christmas morning, and so I wish you all a Merry Christmas, especially my little girl up in Heaven, and I hope that your holiday is as blessed as mine is.