Eden's second birthday is very quickly approaching. Last year, I embraced my sadness, and I was able to mourn and celebrate my daughter in the days leading up to and on her birthday, but this year I feel like I've tried not to think about it, and I have realized that I've been avoiding my own feelings about it, because things are different this year. Last year I was pregnant. I was around 15 weeks or so along, and I was mostly assured that we were expecting a healthy baby, but I don't think the reality that we'd have a baby in the end kicked in until much later. This year I have that healthy baby. She's a beautiful, and wonderful 6 month old who gives me so much joy that I feel like my heart will burst when I look at her. She fits into our family so perfectly that I can't imagine a life without her in it, but I know that if Eden had been healthy, we probably wouldn't have our little Rosalie, and that reality tears at my emotions.